Hopefully that headline grabbed your attention and hopefully you realise I am not a Bavarian automobile. What I am trying to do is poke a red hot stick into the side of those ridiculous estate agent claims. You are Stellenbosch? Yeah, I don’t think so. You look like a standard-edition human being to me.
Are there any rules to these outlandish statements? If another perfume and bangle-laden tannie claims Grabouw before you do, is it hers forever? Must you out-sell everyone or can you do joint-mandate swapsies and sharies? Or does it refer to where you currently live? Because in that case, I am a new BMW 730d.
My exterior is the ultimate lifestyle statement, professionally coated in grey metallic with all the modern trimmings the discerning buyer could dream of. You will feel like you have arrived before you even left, as little sense as that may make. And thanks to wheels, you can choose any location, location, location!
I am 730d. I have a beautifully-appointed interior with designer touches which are an entertainer’s dream. Great ergonomics and amazing comfort await you in this gem of an automobile where you can relax in an oasis of cream leather (black, grey and other colours available) with family-friendly silver buttons abound.
Front room furniture with built-in massage options! The controls for these are placed in a secluded area so tall people with long legs will activate them accidentally (I mean, by surprise!) with their knees. Regrettably, no pets or smoking in this BMW press unit so you’ll have to use the ashtrays as potpourri holders.
Cozy rear quarters with a warm, homely feel. You’ll find plump, fuzzy headrest cushions and twin TFT entertainment monitors for the little ones. Head-room may be at a premium for freakishly tall people but the fully-powered and raised rear pews make you feel very important; and vindicated for spending so much money.
No transfer duties! Thanks to an amazing eight-speed automatic transmission and a powerful, well-situated turbo-diesel engine, this BMW simply astonishes at transferring you from A to B. Low, low consumption (claimed average 5.0L/100km, our test 7.5L/100km) from this once-in-a-lifetime offer!
Hurry, ACT NOW on the fantastic potential of your very own 730d. It should return a 0-100km/h time of 6.1 seconds but our expert appraisals already achieved a remarkable yield of 5.96 seconds! The 400 meter boundary lies at 14.22 seconds and 157.71km/h with a tranquil v-max figure of 250km/h*.
*Electronically limited and subject to local laws
Ensure your elegant living with this BMW’s state-of-art electronic facilities and all imaginable luxury trimmings. Top-of-the-line sound system and media connectivity with live maps and concierge services to desirable addresses match the fastidious safety equipment on board. No expenses spared!
The BMW 730d is ready for you to move in and the perfect lock-up and go with its touch-screen smart key. Immaculate self-parking and self-driving features can be yours, depending on the depth of your wallet. Find a quiet, popular gated community to try it in and let me know if it works – I didn’t manage.
Anyway. Breathtaking views await you from the comfort of the 730d interior which also cossets any occupants with wonderful four-zone climate control and superb air suspension. The characterful BMW is driving at its finest, a furnished highway delight albeit with a tad of wind noise from the mirrors.
Claim your dream spot in the vibrant heart of this award-winning automobile which is priced to sell from N$1.5 million with a full two-year unlimited mileage warranty and five-year or 100,000km maintenance plan. Neat as a pin and now on show at a BMW dealer near you!
0-10km/h: 0,41 seconds
0-20km/h: 0,80 seconds
0-30km/h: 1,22 seconds
0-40km/h: 1,66 seconds
0-50km/h: 2,15 seconds
0-60km/h: 2,74 seconds
0-70km/h: 3,43 seconds
0-80km/h: 4,14 seconds
0-90km/h: 5,01 seconds
0-100km/h: 5,96 seconds
0-110km/h: 7,02 seconds
0-120km/h: 8,20 seconds
0-130km/h: 9,64 seconds
0-140km/h: 11,18 seconds
0-150km/h: 12,81 seconds
0-160km/h: 14,74 seconds
0-100m: 6,05 seconds @ 100,80km/h
0-200m: 9,18 seconds @ 127,05km/h
0-300m: 11,84 seconds @ 144,18km/h
0-400m: 14,22 seconds @ 157,71km/h
100-0km/h: 2,58 seconds @ 36,71 metres (once-off)
0-10mph: 0,64 seconds
0-20mph: 1,31 seconds
0-30mph: 2,07 seconds
0-40mph: 3,02 seconds
0-50mph: 4,18 seconds
0-60mph: 5,61 seconds
0-70mph: 7,33 seconds
0-80mph: 9,46 seconds
0-90mph: 11,94 seconds
0-100mph: 14,93 seconds
1/4 mile: 14,27 seconds @ 98,16 mph
Maximum acceleration G-force: 0,73G
All data captured by Racelogic® Performance Box