Somewhere out there is a person who wants – or possibly needs – a bright orange metallic Jaguar SUV with a bajillion horsepower. I’m not sure why, but here’s my brief impression of the vehicle…
You should know: Actually, this Sprint Review is just a quick gap filler because I made a special request to drive this vehicle for a sole reason: to use it in a tribute video. A homage. Perhaps even an obituary… to the glorious V8 engine. It’s gloriously decadent and a glorious waste of time in today’s lean, green, mean world.
More info: A couple of decades ago, vee eights were fairly common. They ranged from lazy land yacht propulsion to agitated sports car engines but – as climate change, EV hysteria and political correctness flood our collective consciousness, they’ve been pushed into the last-named vestige: as sports car motors.
What else? I won’t lament that fact more than I should – while nudging you in the direction of my video – but it’s my professional duty to tell you that down-sizing and high efficiency vehicles are better. They just are. But for my fellow eight-pot aficionados out there, meet one of the meanest V8 SUV’s on today’s market.
Why you shouldn’t: Sure, it costs almost two bar and will apparently help itself to 12.2L/100km on average. Snort, giggle. Try double that, if you’re a human being with emotions. Emotions which will be dragged, snared and fish-hooked into the gargling V8 soundtrack; accompanied by instant supercharger response.
Why you should: Other than glorious sound and British opulence? Performance. According to our Racelogic PerformanceBox, this 405kW behemoth can sprint to 100km/h in just 4.2 seconds. Although Jaguar claims 0.2 seconds less, that’s well within are-you-crazy SUV territory (see table below). Top speed? An insane 286km/h.
Crazy SUV performance table:
| Crazy SUV | Our 0-100 time | Claimed time | Difference |
| Alfa Romeo Stelvio QV | 4.03 seconds | 3.8 seconds | – 0.23 |
| Audi RS Q3 | 4.95 seconds | 4.5 seconds | – 0.45 |
| BMW X4 M Comp. | 4.15 seconds | 3.8 seconds | – 0.35 |
| Jaguar F-Pace SVR | 4.20 seconds | 4.0 seconds | – 0.20 |
| Jaguar i-Pace EV400 | 4.54 seconds | 4.8 seconds | +0.26 |
| Jeep G.C. Trackhawk | 3.78 seconds | 3.7 seconds | – 0.08 |
| Mercedes-AMG GLS63 | 4.49 seconds | 4.2 seconds | – 0.29 |
| Mercedes-AMG GLE63 Coupé | 4.10 seconds | 3.8 seconds | – 0.30 |
The SVR obviously comes with every imaginable toy and safety aid, probably a comprehensive warranty and service plan, although there’s only one dealership in Namibia. It’s silly, really. Wasteful. Almost stupid or brash, but that’s the whole point of that dying star we call a V8. Which my video also tries to explain…
FULL SPECLIST
| Engine: | 5.0 V8 supercharged petrol |
| Transmission: | 8-speed Automatic, AWD |
| Max. Power: | 405kW |
| Max. Torque: | 700Nm |
| Avg. cons.: | (claimed 12.2L/100km) |
| 0-100km/h: | 4.20 seconds (claimed 4.0) |
| Top Speed: | Claimed 286km/h |
| List Price: | R1,991,869 |