Are you in the market for an SUV? Statistically, you certainly should be. Realistically, if size and price aren’t of great concern to you, I highly recommend you narrow in on the big seven-seater Volvo XC90.
Your family has packed their bags for a desert safari and fishing trip in the Namib, which car do you take? OK, what if the roads are in a really terrible state? Right, one more thing. You’re allergic to Toyotas. Once you’ve managed to forget about the brilliant Pajero Sport, I would recommend this new Mucks.
D’you know what really irritates me? Sheepish behaviour. Add some overly common attributes to the mix and I lose interest so quickly that I actually consider growing a man-bun and wearing flannel shirts. And what’s the automotive epitome of sheepish solidarity? A white Toyota. Uh-oh…
The illustrious experience
Have you ever heard of the Cerwin-Vega DC1515? What sounds like an antique Russian transport plane is actually an American loudspeaker the size of a medium fridge. And trust me on this; you would remember if you ever met a pair. That same brutal immortality also applies to my latest test car, the new Audi RS4 Avant.
That’s it, I’ve had it. Enough! Enough already with this stupid SUV malarkey, it’s gotten completely out of control. Who would’ve ever thought that Jaguar (and Bentley, Maserati, Porsche, Lambo, etc., etc.) will get in on the action and what the hell is the meaning of E, F and I Pace?
The gentle progress
Ahh, the carefree days of early adulthood. My memories include Brollocks, Terrace, Bohemia, Mavericks and other Stellenbosch places but are dominated by the cars I came into contact with back then. One of them was a then-new Mercedes C180 and almost 20 years later I finally got a chance to test one of its direct descendants in earnest.
What was once a laughable trickle became a sizable stream, then a raging river before morphing into a fully-blown tsunami with no discernible end: the onslaught of compact SUV’s. Most vehicle manufacturers now have more Mommy 4×4’s than any other vehicle on their disjointed websites… and Mitsubishi is no exception.
The beluga whale
New cars are jolly expensive these days, especially when you consider the amount of metal you get for your money. MPV’s and minibuses represent the best value but they tend to look (and feel) so boxy… enter stage left, this cool new Kia.
Compact SUV’s are proliferating faster than an alley of stray cats. The Indian Mahindra corporation is relatively new to this game with their KUV100 range – this time we test-drove the turbo-diesel model.
The iconic spiel
Ford Mustang, Ferrari F40, Mercedes 300SL Gullwing. All of these are legends in their own right and will get you plenty of attention but if you need a little more – right now I guarantee it – just get yourself the brand-new Suzuki Jimny. Our test car’s black stickers on crazy lumo-green-yellow paint can probably help as well.