BMW’s popular X5 was a pioneering SUV, or SAV (Sports Activity Vehicle), as the Bavarians like to call it. This all-new, fourth generation is caringly nicknamed G05 and I recently took one for an extended spin.
Toilet paper. Airtime. Socks. Not only do these everyday necessities have a symbolic resemblance to my latest test car, I’m also waffling a bit because I’m fairly convinced that nobody hunts for reviews of budget seven-seater minivans. Or do they? In which case, welcome, dear friend of big cars for small money…
Many years ago, special and limited editions were all the automotive rage. Where most nations have moved on, the U.K. got stuck on Special Editions so badly that it’s almost impossible to purchase a non-SE automobile. Even high-end stuff like this Jaguar XJ get the treatment, although this XJ50 model is rather more bespoke than a 320d SE…
My parents once had a Land Rover Discovery. Its most redeeming features were a soft-ish ride and two-tone suede leather seats. Beyond that it blew its engine at 1,500km, chowed more fuel (and was slower) than an oil tanker, rattled like a can ‘o nails and randomly went into limp mode. So – is this newest one any better?
Are you in the market for an SUV? Statistically, you certainly should be. Realistically, if size and price aren’t of great concern to you, I highly recommend you narrow in on the big seven-seater Volvo XC90.
Your family has packed their bags for a desert safari and fishing trip in the Namib, which car do you take? OK, what if the roads are in a really terrible state? Right, one more thing. You’re allergic to Toyotas. Once you’ve managed to forget about the brilliant Pajero Sport, I would recommend this new Mucks.
D’you know what really irritates me? Sheepish behaviour. Add some overly common attributes to the mix and I lose interest so quickly that I actually consider growing a man-bun and wearing flannel shirts. And what’s the automotive epitome of sheepish solidarity? A white Toyota. Uh-oh…
The illustrious experience
Have you ever heard of the Cerwin-Vega DC1515? What sounds like an antique Russian transport plane is actually an American loudspeaker the size of a medium fridge. And trust me on this; you would remember if you ever met a pair. That same brutal immortality also applies to my latest test car, the new Audi RS4 Avant.
That’s it, I’ve had it. Enough! Enough already with this stupid SUV malarkey, it’s gotten completely out of control. Who would’ve ever thought that Jaguar (and Bentley, Maserati, Porsche, Lambo, etc., etc.) will get in on the action and what the hell is the meaning of E, F and I Pace?
The gentle progress
Ahh, the carefree days of early adulthood. My memories include Brollocks, Terrace, Bohemia, Mavericks and other Stellenbosch places but are dominated by the cars I came into contact with back then. One of them was a then-new Mercedes C180 and almost 20 years later I finally got a chance to test one of its direct descendants in earnest.