The fizzy darkness
Last Wednesday morning at precisely 03h24 I woke up to the sound of pelting rain and a startling realisation: the BMW X5 is a fantastic car. Note the use of the word “car” instead of four-by-four, SUV or other such descriptions.
X5
Tested: 2010 Subaru Outback 2.0 Diesel
The bloated estate
I’m assuming that some of you have just returned from a long, hot and tiresome holiday trip ready to trade in the spouse’s ageing wheels. In your absence, most dealerships have steam-cleaned the driveway, topped up the coffee machine and are waiting (some, anxiously) for your visit.
Tested: 2010 BMW X5 M
The king of overkill
Do you enjoy fishing with dynamite? Does every bathroom in your house feature a shiny flat TV? Do you regularly use tens or twenties to light your cigars? If you’re the type of person who likes to gracelessly wallow in life’s excesses then I’ve got brilliant news for you. I found your next car.
Tested: BMW X5 xDrive48i
The hungry hippo
I’m not very fond of softroaders or SUV’s, predominantly because they pretend to be 4×4’s but in most cases are unusable for such endeavours. That irritates me on the same level as fancy crockery that just stands in a cupboard and may not be used, or functions of my glossy new cellphone that I will never ever use. Utterly pointless.
Padtoets: BMW X5 xDrive48i
Sinloos maar briljant
Ek hou nie baie van sport-nuutsvoertuie (SUV) nie, hoofsaaklik omdat hulle voorgee om ‘n vier-by-vier te wees maar in meeste gevalle vir sulke doeleindes onbruikbaar is. Dit irriteer my op die selfde vlak soos deftige skinkgoed wat nie benut mag word nie, of funksies van my nuwe selfoon wat ek nooit ooit sal gebruik nie. Absoluut sinloos!
Testfahrt: BMW X5 xDrive48i
Ich halte nicht viel von SUV oder Softroader, weil sie angeblich vierradangetriebene Fahrzeuge sind aber in den meisten Fällen für unzugängliche Ziele unbrauchbar sind. Das irritiert mich auf der selben Ebene wie teueres Porzelan, das nur im Schrank steht und nicht gebraucht werden darf, oder die Funktionen meines neuen Handys, die ich nie gebrauchen würde. Absolut sinnlos.