Do you like making an entrance? Are you into contact sports, addicted to adrenaline or enjoy ticking off your neighbours? Boy-oh-boy, do I have the car for you…
The satin sledgehammers
A recent purchase by one of our staff members has spurred us on to finally delve into the history of certain performance cars. But don’t worry – we shall use this opportunity to cover other brands, genres and eras as well. In fact, why don’t you drop us a line and tell us which car’s history you’d like to see?
Hear ye, hear ye! Today I will dispense more motoring advice collected from the vast armada of vehicles I have tested over the years. In my humble but considerable experience, the ultimate performance car to buy is always second best – one down from the top model.
The fizzy champions
I’ll let you into a little secret. There’s a get-out-of-jail-free card which I will allow any car to pull no matter how terrible it may be. It’s not red paint, it’s not Xenon lights, nor is it a gigantic sound system or two-tone sports seats. Those do count for something but they can’t compete with high revs.
The trump cards
Many people will argue that naught to a hundred times are childish and irrelevant, an automotive statistic only useful at the bar counter or in a pack of trump cards. Others will defend this benchmark test as a measure of a car’s performance, perhaps even reasoning that it’s important to know how quickly a car accelerate away from potential harm, or onto a motorway.
The bumpy beast
Did you know that all French people are rude and every Portuguese owns a corner café? Germans have no sense of humour, Americans are fat and all domestic workers steal sugar, right? None of these stigmas are true, of course, and neither is this one: Mercs are for old people.
The intoxicating blend
After a tad of insomnia and some Google-assisted self diagnosis, it turns out that I have a severe case of withdrawal symptoms. Dilated pupils, dry mouth, extended forearms with clenched fists, restlessness and thundering big block noises in my ears lead me to believe that I yearn for more sixty-three ah emm gee.